This is a story about three Palm Beach ladies, a couple of gents, forgotten shoes and a round of golf. A modern day Cinderella story, well, sort of…

Every weekend, my friends and I play golf – it’s our chance to breathe fresh air, exercise and reconnect with each other. I always feel energized after time with my girls.

Last Sunday I forgot my golf shoes. I cursed, berated myself for my carelessness and wondered how I could possibly play.   “Not a problem”, Tracy commented, “just wear your sandals, no one will notice and no one will care”.   As I protested, she replied, “Trust me.”

The course was pretty empty, so I began to relax after the first couple of holes. Soon, two older gentlemen came up behind us in a cart. I immediately panicked, “Oh no! I’m sure they are just thrilled to be playing behind three women walking the course.”   As I ran to hide behind a tree, Dawn said, “Relax. Its OK, just play!”

The men didn’t push us – they patiently sat in their cart at each tee while we hacked away in the fairway. They finally caught up to us as we were heading for the back 9 holes. We greeted them and told them to play ahead of us. They both chuckled and said, “Oh, no – we’ve been enjoying watching you play!“ One looked at me and asked, “How do you play in sandals?” My face flushed with embarrassment as I apologized for being so absentminded that I forgot my shoes. Bracing myself for another comment, he asked, “Why don’t you play barefoot?”  My friends and I looked at each other with confusion. “But we’re walking the course,” Dawn stated in my defense. He laughed and said, “wear them when you’re walking but take them off before you hit the ball.”

What a fascinating concept! Truth be told, I HATE wearing shoes, so I thought, why not? At the 10th tee, I took off my sandals, wriggled my toes and set up to the ball. The sensation was amazing. The grass was cool with just a hint of moisture and was as soft as a baby’s blanket. I took a deep breath, relaxed, swung… and hit my best shot of the day.  As if by magic, I started playing unbelievably well. I felt so free and uninhibited that my swings flowed effortlessly. The back 9 were the best holes I had played in recent memory (I don’t keep score, but that’s for another blog!)   I started to falter the last hole and Tracy and Dawn joked that my feet must be getting tired. We headed into the clubhouse and our new friends soon followed. They told us again how much they enjoyed following us and that we were great golfers.   I thanked the man for his unusual golf tip.  He nodded and said there are some professionals who play barefoot. ‘Keeps you grounded”, he explained, “Helps to keep your swing balanced.” We waved goodbye and they said they hoped to see us again soon.

As we walked to our cars, I reflected on how this golf round was a lot like life:

  1. We all make mistakes.   We forget things, we think unpleasant thoughts and sometimes our behavior isn’t up to par. Ask yourself, is this a life changing mistake? What can I do to fix it? What can’t I do? Then make adjustments and keep forging forward.
  2. Don’t let one negative event color the rest of your day. Often our minds place more emphasis on negative things than on positive things. Research suggests that we need 5 positive experiences to counter-act one negative experience. So, when you find yourself in a sour mood, actively seek out the positives of the situation and watch your mood lighten.
  3. Don’t assume you know what others are thinking.   Our brains don’t know fact from fiction, so if we think people are viewing us in a negative light, our actions won’t disappoint. And, why does it matter what other’s think? They don’t know the path you have walked and why you are wearing sandals rather than shoes.
  4. Sometimes we get too comfortable in our routines. Mistakes have a way of shaking things up and forcing us to think outside the box. Who knows, maybe your next mistake will become a game changer too.
  5. Surround yourself with people who love you. They will have your back and help to keep you out of the sand traps.

Hugs & Hope,

Mary

A special THANKS, to Dawn Burke, a great friend and graphic artist extraordinaire who created and allowed me to use her Palm Beach Golf Lady for this blog. Visit her at www.dawnofdesigns.com to see more of her work

Mary C. Owens, MSW, CDC® is a Clinical Social Worker and CDC Certified Divorce Coach® with over 25 years helping hundreds of clients overcome tremendous challenges and make amazing life transitions.